By Michel Danielson

Why be disappointed?

Do we need it? No, we don’t. Life is more agreeable, more beautiful without disappointments.
Of course, you agree with me. Sounds nice, but… you are not quite sure if it is possible. You suspiciously shake your head.

What is the problem? Let me know.

I guess what you mean – but it happens, independently of our will.

You think on unreliable people, you think on unfavorable circumstances. You think on hopes that melt like snow on the sun. You think on all these ugly things and events that occur but don’t depend on us.

One is disillusioned every day, every hour, every minute. That’s undeniably. Disillusioned, remember that word. It’s of great importance. It’s the key.

You are right – there are many unpleasant experiences in our lives. And you are wrong - we are not as helpless in front of disappointments as it looks like.

What is disappointment? It’s the gap between our expectations and reality. Don’t forget that. Often we can’t change reality, but we always can change our expectations.
Our satisfaction is more based on our attitude then on the outer world.

Let me tell you something about me.

I’m seldom disappointed in people. And I don’t meet different people than you.

I’m seldom disappointed in events or circumstances. And I live in the same world as you.

Also, the most important, I’m seldom disappointed in me. And I’m not better than you.

How it could be? Where is the point?

Solution is simple, even very simple. But, I admit, it’s not easy to find, not easy to achieve. Sometimes is hardest to discover the simplest points. We are often looking everywhere for the thing that lies before our eyes. As it is too close to be seen. Strange phenomenon, isn’t it?

What is the matter? Where is the secret? There isn’t any secret, there isn’t any mystery. As I already told, solution is very simple.

The key point is - I don’t expect much.

I don’t expect much of people. I don’t request supermen and superwomen to be friend or to work with. I accept them just as they are, including all their virtues and imperfections, capabilities and limitations. And I respect them as they are. We are all just people, not gods.

When it nevertheless happens to me to be disappointed with somebody, it’s my fault, not his or her. Nobody is obliged to be what I want instead what he or she is. People are not obliged to adapt to my whishes, to meet my expectations. Quite opposite, I’m obliged to respect what they are.

For the same reason, I’m seldom disappointed with circumstances and events. Every morning when I wake up I tell me: “Don’t be silly. The world goes by its way. You don’t govern it. What will happen, will happen regardless of what you wish to be or not to be.”

I also don’t expect too much of me. I’m what I’m and I can what I can. No more, no less. That’s why I’m seldom angry with me.

Let’s return on the word disillusioned. It implies to have illusions. Greater our illusions are, greater are our disappointments.

To live without disappointments means to live without illusions.

Less expectation, more satisfaction, that’s all.

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